TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
