Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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