You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
organizing the empties. That sober.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
