I must be too annoying 4 u.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Randomize
