Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
