He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
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