I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize