Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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