i can't believe i had my finger in that
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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