My underwear smells like fireworks.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You can't just leave with hair like that
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
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