Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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