he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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