Are we in a gay sports bar?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
