I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
