This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
