i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
