you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
