the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just gift wrapped bread.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
