THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
