$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
