I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
