Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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