ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
