Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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