When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I just forgot I was standing up.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
