Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
