I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize