Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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