lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
