my room smells like sperm. sweet.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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