I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize