this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
