Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
