Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
