oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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