the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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