Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
