Your dad touched me again.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
My dad just said "fuck circus"
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
