i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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