you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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