i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize