walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
