I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
