Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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