apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
