Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
My feet surprised me
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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