We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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