He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
