So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Holy shit dude........stairs
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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