I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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