During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Did I show you my penis last night?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
The power of my boobs compel you
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
