We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
