hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
