The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
