guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I got her a Nickelback box set.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
