i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
