69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
