And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
