whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
