I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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