im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
