Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
