So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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