What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
